What About Bob

Mandles

Saw this one my friend Nathan's blog.  Looking to make your place more manly?  Get a Mandle.

Lotion Soap Switch Angers Congregation

Members at Avalon Baptist church were angered to discover that the soap used for years in the church restrooms was replaced by a new, economical foaming soap.
    "You get this bubbly mound that disappears once you rub it in your hands," one man complained as he exited the restroom. "It’s all show, this new soap."
    Others agree.
    "What happened to the thick, slimy stuff?" one man asked. "That really worked."
    Last Sunday was supposed to be the kick-off of the church’s annual Missions Week. But the buzz in the foyer was about the soap change. Some suggested taking a special offering to restore the original liquid soap.
    "You have to wonder about the leadership’s judgment, if they’re willing to make a poor decision like this," says one woman. "It signals weakness at the top."

Read HERE for more.

My Favorite Chuck Norris Facts

1.If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google, it doesn't say..  "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

2.  Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

3.  Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Chuck's Favorite

Government Health Warning

DO NOT SWALLOW CHEWING-GUM!!!

WAS IT BUBBLICIOUS, HUBBA BUBBA, OR BAZOOKA???

Stained Glass Pity

"I Pity the Church that doesn't have Stained Glass"

Jesus Saves

  LITTLE ROCK — Drivers on state road 495 have seen the message for weeks: "Jesus saves ... at First Federal Bank of Arkansas."
    "Jesus" refers not to the man Christians call the messiah, but Jesús Gonzalez, a chicken factory worker from Mexico who moved to Little Rock two years ago. The bank, trying to attract minority clients, "employed a little humor," said the bank president in a statement. But it has become a lightning rod for criticism and confusion.
    "I thought they were saying Jesus Christ preferred that bank, and I thought, how do they know that?" says Barbara Chilton, 52, who switched to First Federal just to be safe.
    Others thought the photograph of Gonzalez was intended to announce the second coming of Christ.
    "I didn't think Jesus looked like that," said Dan Gainsburg, looking at the billboard from a construction site across the street.
    The bank caught so much flak from angry Christians that the bank sent workers to remove the ad, but hordes of Catholics, many of them recent Mexican immigrants, had turned the base of the structure into a shrine replete with flowers, candles and religious items.

Phone Fingers

This is just wrong.

IPHONE: Will It Blend?

With news of the new IPhone prices, now is the time to blend.

Animatronic band takes guesswork out of worship

PLANO — On Sunday morning at High Valley Community Church, the curtains part to reveal a 10-piece band of mannequins which springs to life at the touch of a button.
    "Good morning everybody!" says lead animatron "Steve," a male mannequin with blond hair and a beaming smile. "Let's worship God!"
    They launch into a flawless version of "Open the Eyes of My Heart," and the animatrons "play" their instruments while people in the audience clap and sing along.
    It has taken a few months to get used to them, but the people at High Valley have embraced the burgeoning trend in electronic worship leaders.
    "I thought I'd miss the human element, but these machines are so real," says Douglas Wilson, 62. "And I appreciate the consistency."
    The shift happened last fall when the church's worship leader resigned. Pastor Ted Lindey had trouble finding a replacement. Then he heard about Animatronics Group, a company out of New Zealand which creates animatronic shows for theme parks. For the price of three years' salary for a flesh-and-blood worship leader, Lindey realized he could get a system that lasted ten years or more and offered almost limitless worship possibilities.
    "Real worship leaders have a warmth, but they can be also moody and flaky," says Lindey. "It's tough to find one that matches your church."
    He had the system installed in November. The people were astonished, even annoyed at first. Then they began to bond with the animatrons. Many now say they've reached new heights of worship with the pre-programmed band.
    The Deluxe Animatronic Church system comes with generic animatrons in the skin tones of a church's choice. Churches may upgrade their "head kits" to feature Michael W. Smith, George Beverly Shea or Darlene Zschech, who have licensed their voices and likenesses to the company. At High Valley, Lindey upgraded to the George Beverly Shea kit for his early morning service, and on Saturday nights the youth rock out with the newly introduced Delirious head kit.

The Touchy Huggy Section

When Margie and Dan Banks listen to the sermon at their Assembly of God church, they often fall into a habit that's hard to break: He scratches her back lightly in a slow circular motion, and she rubs his neck, sometimes twirling his hair around her little finger.
    "We honestly don't realize we're doing it," Margie says.
    But other church-goers have found it so offensive that finally their church, like many others, added a "couples section" for the "affectionately gifted" — those who can't keep their hands off each other on Sunday mornings.
    "It was getting to be a problem," says pastor Dave Towns of his church's "touching issues."
    Darla Knabe usually sits with her 17-year-old son, and often catches herself massaging his shoulders. He works construction during the week and needs the relief, she says. But twice, the person behind her has asked her to stop.
    "It's hard not to be affectionate toward someone you love, especially when your heart is so open from worship," she says.
    Other couples go to greater extremes. One church-goer from Tacoma saw a man and woman give each other "full-on back massages" throughout the pastor's sermon.
    "She rubbed him down from neck to glutes, and then he turned around and did the same for her," the observer says with disgust.
    A man from Boise says he finally left the sanctuary after observing a man "playfully flip and caress" his wife's ear lobe during most of the service.
    "Why do people wait until Sunday morning to do that stuff?" he asks.

Read more HERE.